Whether it's working a full time job in or out of the home, shuttling children around, taking care of elderly parents or carving out that precious ME time...we are busy. At the end of a long work day, when you are tired and spent, do you find it difficult to reconnect to your husband or wife? Do you even have the energy to start an adult conversation? Here are 5 tips to help with reconnecting:
1. Create a "child free zone" - If your children are about 4 years old and up, this shouldn't be too difficult. Tell your children they need to play with each other (or alone!) while you and your spouse/partner have some adult time. Show your children the boundaries of this space, such as "adults only" inside the rug, on the couch, in the kitchen, etc. Set a kitchen timer for however long you want to spend reconnecting (20 minutes or so?). The kids must respect your boundaries and let the adults have this time to talk about their days with each other. ALONE.
2. Ok, talk. Ask each other specific questions about their day. What was challenging today? What did you accomplish? What are you looking forward to most tonight?
3. If creating the "child free zone" is difficult due to having babies or toddlers, save your reconnecting time until the children are asleep. (This also works well if you have to put off reconnecting time due to after school/work activities.) TURN OFF THE TV, COMPUTER, and PHONES!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, do it. Turn 'em off. Tune in to each other. Face to face. If you already have discussed "how did your day go", I suggest something fun. Ask your spouse to tell you a funny story about high school, her best friend, his first job, her first concert, etc. You are getting the picture, right? Just ask a question.
4. Now talk about expectations. Talk about what you hope to happen tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, next week. When you know what your spouse is looking forward to or dreading, you can talk about it. Find out how he or she feels about these hopes and expectations. Take turns and let the other person finish before you reply.
5. Thank your spouse for sharing. Thank your spouse for opening up and being vulnerable, especially if you talked about some "hard" stuff. Tell him or her how grateful you are for their love and support.
In health, myhealthyhabits
1. Create a "child free zone" - If your children are about 4 years old and up, this shouldn't be too difficult. Tell your children they need to play with each other (or alone!) while you and your spouse/partner have some adult time. Show your children the boundaries of this space, such as "adults only" inside the rug, on the couch, in the kitchen, etc. Set a kitchen timer for however long you want to spend reconnecting (20 minutes or so?). The kids must respect your boundaries and let the adults have this time to talk about their days with each other. ALONE.
2. Ok, talk. Ask each other specific questions about their day. What was challenging today? What did you accomplish? What are you looking forward to most tonight?
3. If creating the "child free zone" is difficult due to having babies or toddlers, save your reconnecting time until the children are asleep. (This also works well if you have to put off reconnecting time due to after school/work activities.) TURN OFF THE TV, COMPUTER, and PHONES!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, do it. Turn 'em off. Tune in to each other. Face to face. If you already have discussed "how did your day go", I suggest something fun. Ask your spouse to tell you a funny story about high school, her best friend, his first job, her first concert, etc. You are getting the picture, right? Just ask a question.
4. Now talk about expectations. Talk about what you hope to happen tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, next week. When you know what your spouse is looking forward to or dreading, you can talk about it. Find out how he or she feels about these hopes and expectations. Take turns and let the other person finish before you reply.
5. Thank your spouse for sharing. Thank your spouse for opening up and being vulnerable, especially if you talked about some "hard" stuff. Tell him or her how grateful you are for their love and support.
In health, myhealthyhabits
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